Holt's notes

 Shift #1: 

Warmth over Rigidity

Even though Holt is high-end, being seamless and elegant doesn’t mean being stiff. Show warmth and approachability in your role, while still looking polished and fabulous.

Dual Audiences to Impress

When you work Holt shifts, technically you’re on the café’s payroll but serving a vendor brand. That means you need to impress both: The vendor (brand clients you serve directly). The Holt supervisors/managers (the ones you report to).

Balance your rapport and helpfulness with both sides to build reputation.

Shift #2: 

Role perception

- Vendors may assume you’re a Holt Café employee or representing Holt.

Instead of clarifying “I’m agency staff,” take the role and respond as though you’re part of the café team. This prevents them from feeling awkward or caught off guard, and keeps the experience seamless.

- Building rapport with vendors

Take opportunities to compliment or praise vendors during/after seminars, even if you’re not the target audience. Small acknowledgments (“You looked fantastic up there” / “Great job on that demo”) boost morale.

Positive energy tends to circle back — in this case, you noticed it reflected in better tips.

Note to self, Sep 1 2025

 When rough times hit, only focus on the solutions, not emotions, not the problem itself. 

Keep the present self as physically comfortable as possible, ie: shower, creams, hydration, music, sleep. Then counteract the obstacles with strong focus --- then let it pass. 

After tackling the issues, move on quickly to the next project/event/item/person... ,etc. 

*Reward self when these 7 stressors are dealt with: The fly. The hand. The teeth. The glasses. The humidity. The job. The man. 

Back from TW; goals reassessment; ambitions

 Back from Taiwan. Trip was great, spent Dad's 70th birthday with him, wish granted. 

But it's not what I'm here to blog about... I need to reassess my immediate goals for the second half of 2025. Ever since I got back other than swift total unpack done in a day, I opened an EQ bank account with my first TFSA account attached to it. Now i really feel grown up. Then I got assigned a new primary health provider which is huge, the nurse practitioner is great, can't ask for a better gal. I also registered for a tax informative course that cost a hefty amount, but at least it'll be one more skill I gain on my free time and perhaps it could be my third source of income. Then week 2 I got my CV reorganized to a close to ideal shape, hopefully from now on I don't need much revision, just mass applications. Then I got done my blood work and got my next eye exam and dental exam booked. And I attended a new staffing company's orientation and signed up with them --- my 2nd-b income, yay, I need to keep reminding myself my dad's motto: "To be able to work is a bless. Keep working." What a great reframe for a working class, it does make me feel better about carry the weight on my own. Cuz even with my full-time close-to-minimum-wage job, I've managed to pay rent/utilities and be on many online shopping sprees (I really need to stop that), which is why I'm here, to reassess my goals in the following weeks and months. 

First I need to focus on job and apartment hunting. Jobs still need to come first, so I can narrow down the location for my next move. Starting next week (last week of Aug) I just really need to suck it up and apply to as many places as possible. New deadline for job finding: End of October. And apartment can come after, either by end of year or next year is fine. Money is priority, keep that in mind. Set goals for next week days so that I reach an application quota. 

Just got messages from Dad, he's doing well in Australia, happy for him. 

Next, I need to resume exercise and have some massive weight drops. Lately I've been gaining more than I did in tw which is unacceptable. But once I get into the groove it'll get easier, 

Third, and not any less important: Start my passive-income project(s). First really dive into the voice content creation gig; then learn Notion timetable making; lastly, pick up pixel-art making progress. Eventually we'll also delve into writing a epub self-help book as well as making some vids after I move to a new place. Also there's art creation on RedBubble.... There're lots to do in this section, but one by one, I feel as though I'll definitely find my own niche that could generate some income. 

Ideally, I would have one full-time job; 2 event staffing contracts; seasonal tax-filing gigs; 5 passive income sources.... that'd be very ideal, but who said it can't come true, at least I'm staying positive, and busy! 

2025 First Half Year Review

 Going on flight tonight. 8 years later finally heading back to Taiwan. It's going to be an emotional trip without questions, but I also gotta keep in mind that it's my long-awaited vacation and I ought to enjoy it the best I can. 

As of this morning I weight 67.3kg, a new plateau stabilized for a month, which will soon increase from my vacation time but that's the mark I'll be aiming for when i come back. Then final goal 62kg expected to be reached by January 2026. 

June recap: one of the best things was that I biked along the Steveston trail despite my lack of cycling practise and going 'alone', it was an exhilarating experience and what a good workout. I filed a complaint about the clinic doctor for the first time and that was that, nothing will be different except leaving a mark on her practise record. Good thing is the wait for a family MD is finally over, I will be (most likely) assigned to a nurse practitioner in Aug and that's one thing settled for years to come. Another good news is I got a federal full dental coverage so from now on I can benefit from this as well. Other than that I worked two event gigs - one being the bartender at synagogue which was a big win, the Serving It Right course paid off! One being the Holt's event, which is still a win cuz I will be able to work at Holt in the future so that's another door opened for me, and with these 2 gigs I made an extra 425 bucks. So that's 4 good things that happened in June. On the Nick front, we had a memorable talk on the 2nd but that was the highlight of the month. I can't help myself from shying away from him sometimes, we did have a brief exchange the other day at the garbage room by accident and from the way he looked at me he did seem to be a bit nervous talking to me, but also assertive in extending the conversation. All signs suggest that he does like me but gotta be careful not to overthink the signs. 

In all 6 months: I took advantage of GVFB. I got a side job at the event company. I courageously asked out a guy for the first time, although rejected, I made a connection and there's the exp value. I sold my digital camera for some extra cash. Lost a few more pounds and looking glowy and healthy, I conquered my fear of checking emails and handling admin work, now I'm always on top of things. I got a full dental coverage and am on my way to getting a permanent NP. I booked a ticket for Taiwan for the first time in 8 years. I got upskilled with 2 new certs and one of them already took effect. I stuck with vaping without recoiling to smoking cigs. All and all, when the INTJ instincts kick in, good things really manifest themselves. 

Goals for 2nd half of 2025: Spend quality time with family in Taiwan. Continue with job hunt; Get a new apt; Get teeth fixed and other health problems sorted out --- nail that NP meet-and-greet. Save money to repay Jess. Continue with workouts and reach the goal of 63kg by Dec. If possible upskill and take a bartending course. 

A memorable moment

June 2nd. i haven't talked to Nick for nearly 2 weeks which is pretty long considering our usual interaction streak. Today when I was on my way back from the bathroom, he was standing right where i wouldn't miss him, like the spot where i'd definitely pass closely by him. I usually have a pretty good intuition and it told me that he for sure saw me coming out of the shop through the surveillance cam from his office which is something i've suspected of him doing for a while. I really think that today my hunch was spot on; I felt that he was there waiting to speak to me. Now back at the scene, as i was walking slowly towards him, i kept my gaze on him without looking away and i had a smile on my face, showing him i intended to talk, and be the first one to speak. He first waved at me from afar as usual, then he looked back and forth between his phone and me, until he realized my eyes were locked in on him, he then fixed his gaze at me intently. Before him, i said "i haven't talked to you in a while, how have you been?" and he slow-nodded and said 'It's been a moment' then he asked me about my weekend, which is a surprise cuz he never used to ask me about my life, usually just the weather talk. i told him about how i spent my time outside and so on, but i dont think the content of how my weekend went mattered, he was just happy to see me standing in front of him. after that i asked if he's training more new people or not (cuz i often see him training someone else) and he told me no, which is good cuz then he'd have to be on his best behaviour and it's tiring, i giggled, and i told him sometimes i find him looking a little intimidating from afar but i know he's nice when i talk to him up close and he admitted that he's pretty shy and even though sometimes two people can get along very well but seeing each other from far away can feel a little weird (here i suspected he's talking about us) By the way i looked great today, idk if it's cuz all the sun i got yesterday or the good food i ate or the deep sleep i had last night, my skin is literally dewy and glowy, the makeup sat so smoothly on my face and my hair's shiny. i knew i looked good today so the whole time he spoke i tried to make as much eye contact with a perpetual smile. I let my eyes do the flirting more than my words. when it was time to end the convo, i said i'll talk to you later, and he had a look on his face, like he didn't want the convo to end, and gently said the same too. Well, i don't think i'm overthinking this, but there was definitely chemistry there, I think I have him swooned. 

End of May updates /2025

It is now may 31st early morning, weigh 67.8kg post-waste; measured my overall circumferences and seems that my upper thigh reduced, the mid-section thigh remains; waist line shrank; hips shrank by quite a bit; bust also shrank by an inch. The only area that's stubbornly stagnant is my arms, haven't changed since April, remains to be 12.5 inches, although i do quite a bit bicep workout, i guess the underarm is still flappy and fat does not wanna burn from that area. Other than that, the past week i got a lot of stares from ppl on the street, considering my age, i think the stares and smiles i get is a testament that i've been treating myself well with diet and exercise and selfcare. And not only the work i've done on the outside, i've worked incessantly on my mental health. Actively exposing myself to uplifting videos, life hacks, hypnosis at night to shift my subconscious mind towards self worth and life pursuits. Eliminating toxic interactions, documenting 'bad days' and acknowledging them without dwelling on them. Constantly thinking of ways to improve myself.... etc, I've said this already but all the work put in me since last Nov 2024, positive results have manifested. I recently learnt that our brain's neuroplasticity can be reshaped and strengthened through daily practise. It's like we are what we eat, and we're also what we see/feel/hear/absorb in via daily experiences. So even if coming from a traumatic environment, it's still possible to recondition how your brain perceive things later in life. This notion itself fills me with hope and determination: keep looking stunning and being the best version of myself, I'm ready to reap the rewards.

Other than looking glowy and feeling light, I've noticed writing with my left hand is much easier now. A lot of tasks at work I used to not able to write them with the left but now I'm able to manage, soon I can actually use it as a party trick. And one more good news today is that I got a noti from Health Registry that I might actually be getting a family physician soon, fingers cross on getting a decent doctor who can do their job. Meanwhile, stay goal-oriented and focused, I WILL get that surgery soon. 

It's one month away from Taiwan trip, money hasn't been saved up that much but i'll use June as a final stretch to catch up with some savings, all's good. 

Exit Gracefully

Ever since the failed coffee proposal happened I've been trying to find the right place for Nick in my mind. Should he be just a hello/goodbye guy at work or could he be more, like a subject I can practise casual flirting with. My mind keeps swaying back and forth because when I stop giving a fuck he shows interest in approaching me; and when I'm actually ready to warm up to him things don't seem to go as I anticipate... Dating or not, surely he's been a motivation for me at least to keep up with self-care routines and look as good as I can manage for work. And his presence induces some spark to the mundane everyday work life as I believe I am to him. But to be frank I'm getting a little wary of this slow-burn of exchanged glances and planned or accidental bump-in's, especially knowing nothing will come to fruition. I've got about 2 months left and if lucky, 3 when I come back from TW. I was gonna use the remaining time to flirt relentlessly since there's no repercussion for doing it and I was sure he'd like it to, but now I'm not so sure. My mind's changing everyday so instead of him being a motivation, he feels more like a distraction. 

However, I DO feel much better about all this after hearing the afternoon guard, Eddie, the chatter mouth spilled their wage, $22/hr, which is far less than what I assumed. Let's say if Nick's the day guard that has more duties and or seniority, at max his wage would be $23/hr, and strangely that gives me a boost with what I'm going for in my next job hunt. Definitely going for something better than that. If I can't get that date, at least I'll make sure to make more than you do! Inexplicable survival skill, turning all sour lemons into fertilizers to help me grow better and stronger. 

In any case, I think it's high time to redirect my attention from him, easing my way out both physically from work and mentally from him. And there's no regret cuz if there were the slightest chance I would've gone for it, but there isn't so, exit gracefully, baggage free, that should be my top self-care focus.