October started off lazy, think I was still in recovery mode from Little Smiles rejection and general weariness from job hunting. I initially wanted to start the month with weight-loss focus since I felt like I kept hitting walls on the job front, but I don't think I ended up lifting a single weight at all. Other priorities happened. A little into Oct I had a phone screening with Olive Fertility Centre of which I did well. Sneaking out from work doing a phone interview on a busy street was a test itself. Then I didn't hear back from them or ANY jobs for another 2 weeks so it was back to slump again. For a while I just didn't want to do anything, no applications, no exercising, no cleaning and I started biting my nails again, anxiety crept in. Mid-month I received an interview invitation from Olive that rekindled my motivation. I gave myself 8/10 for my performance this time, even though I felt ill-prepared but I handled a panel of 3 interviewers quite well. Gave solid replies on questions I'd not prepared for, thanks brain. And one hour post-interview I received a shadow shift invitation on Oct 30th of which I have yet to hear back from. It seems like they often have people in for shadow shifts as one of the staff said: If I don't see you again, it was nice meeting you. I was dreadfully tired for the rest of that Thursday, with the extra free time I just spent it mostly in bed recuperating. By the next day I decided to leave it behind me and live as if I did not get the job. Whether they'll pick me as a finalist is still up in the air but I honestly did my best in every stage of the process... So now, focus on tax pro class.
Another interesting thing to add is yesterday I finally learnt something new about Nick, that he has a daughter. Although he said it quite reluctantly as well as the mentioning of his 'girlfriend', I suspect that's the mother of their daughter so he actually is a man with a family. In a way I was happy I finally see him more as a complete person rather than a hallway crush, in another, it's a nail in coffin that there's no possibility with him for any romantic development. A girlfriend can change, a girlfriend who's the mother of your kid living with you is not. But i do sense that he was relieved... to disclose this personal info and with how i handled it naturally with grace and didn't show a trace of surprise on my face. GPT phrased it right, his purpose was always an emotional fuel for me to look better and work harder, now that I've upgraded myself, his purpose is done, and just so happens around the time that I'm preparing for my exit (manifesting it).
So a lot of Oct I spent on doing nothing it seems, no extra gigs, but if I end up getting that job, October would be a real pivotal point. Let's see.
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