I literally had to scroll back to my Chatgpt record to help me recall what I did this past month.. whereas all the previous months (starting last Dec) I was able to clearly keep track of all my achievement records. Suffice to say I had a pretty rough September, despite that I did fixed a couple more of my teeth, picked up 2 extra Holt's shifts, worked 6 days straight for 2 weeks and the only Sunday off I spend it on H&R tax prep course - I'm happy that I committed to the class albeit it being long and bland... but I'm definitely onto something that'll be advantageous for me in the future.
As for the slump, why, I had 2 in-person interviews plus one over the phone, somehow I feel as though with each of these challenges I face, failure doesn't make me stronger, it just puts a bigger roadblock in my next endeavor. I already know and am prepared for the long fight, but sometimes the weight feels insurmountable.
Chatgpt record showed I had at least 2 mood dips this month, of which I resorted to antidepressants, but not for long. By Sept 25 I was determined to start again, although I didn't really resume workout until today (Sept 30), and half-assed at that, too. Instead of a 45min session I cut it short to 30min. But for now that's good enough, progress is better perfection, gotta keep that in mind. Also for the month of Sept I finally saw Nick's girlfriend and surprisingly found out I'm actually his type, Asian, long hair, got some meat on the bones, except I'm happy to say I'm still much more slender and sophisticated compared to his girl, and that helps me focus on my weight loss. Goal this month: 63.5kg. Gotta remind myself to watch what I say with people and never naively believe just because there's mutual fondness I should trust the other person. Draw that line and keep that distance. Although that lost of sparks is sucking dry the emotional fuel that'd been fueling me all this time, which I'm still bumped out about.
