March 13th, night. today is bad, it's real bad. didn't go GVFB as planned, after work it started raining and it was cold, very damn cold, all i thought about was going home. at work bad, at the end of the shift i wanted to ask about the raise, but a customer came in to do an injection, Andrew had to prep the shot, it was already passed my work hours, i decided to leave instead of lingering, i could've waited til he's done with the shot then ask but i didn't. i already felt bad about the whole day. each day working nowadays i just feel cheated. Andrew's barely talking to me now, that fucking bitch ass, just because i said i wanted a bump? they can afford it but they're just lowballing me, the fact that he barely asks for my additional help is a proof that he was making me work without giving me the credit. With Nick, i didn't get to see him today, in fact i did for a very brief moment, when i went out of the shop to throw some garbage away, the moment i went back to the shop -- as i was opening the door i turned my head around and saw his neon green jacket, he was standing very far but i saw he wanted to make eye contact, it was just one second but he was def trying to make me notice him, but i moved too fast and already half way in the shop, i didn't make a gesture, just saw him as he saw me.... i then tried to go out again to the atrium, he was nowhere to be found. it's Thursday night, it's been almost a week since i last said i wanted to get a raise and ask out Nick, it's been a week and neither of them has made progress, i just feel tired, used, lethargic, disheartened, and i'm gonna drop the workout today too cuz after having a big dinner i'm just fucking tired, i can't use my brain nor my muscles and i'm extremely irritated as shit. i will not recover this easily. tomorrow is friday, most likely i'll go through another day's struggle with no results. i'm tired of working so hard and not seeing result. and i fucking hate those people.
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