I didn't intend to update this often but...
So with the DOMS and luteal phase, my energy level is hitting an all time low. Decided to ditch the planned weight training sesh and pretty much all my usual tasks and headed to bed. However, my mind's still restless, ruminating last week's 'ask-out' saga. I'm not obsessing over him or anything, but I do get this sense of burn, like a flame deep within me that's propelling me to keep moving. I will never forget last Friday's clarity when I got home staring into my PC screen, didn't want to eat dinner, didn't want to watch anime to wind down. All I had my eyes on were my future goals, my current tasks and my determination to achieve them with all the headspace I've earned. Tonight while I was lazing around almost dozing to sleep, I had the thought of him again, along came this voice that goes: if he's progressing with his love life, cum life, then you should do well progressing your future, aspirations, accumulation of wealth, opportunities, creativities that are yet to unlock. And I'm so certain I can achieve those goals just like how my goddamn gumption pushed me to ask him out and be left with a wimpy rejection. I've said it once, throughout my life the only effective motivator for me is anger. Anger's my saviour. Up I got and took a shower, took out the trash, did dishes; now I'm going to sort out some documents, check out the news, prep some med notes and drop Dylan and Alex a line as I'd been putting it off. Anger turns my down days to small wins and focus and self-love, I thank thee, Anger.
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